{Strengthening your relationship as you plan your wedding}
I’ve been wanting to write up this relationship advise article for some time. There is a lot here – so don’t feel overwhelmed…simply pick one or two ideas that may help your relationship. While you’re planning your wedding is also a great time to strengthen your relationship.
Communicate – I think this is always the first bit of advice on every “relationship” blog post. But it’s there for a reason. While you’re planning your wedding (and throughout your life together) you MUST communicate your needs, desires and expectations. My favorite saying is “It’s not Psychic Tuesday” –Don’t expect your partner to “know or understand” your concerns if you haven’t explained or communicated your feelings.
Be honest – This is very self-explanatory. Just always be honest. Upfront. And trustworthy.
Have Similar Hobbies – What does he enjoy doing? Is it something you could also enjoy? Ask him to get involved with you in your hobbies and interests….or even better – go
out together and find something new you can enjoy together. (Hot yoga, repelling, rock climbing, hiking, biking, book club, new video game, or start a business together)
Similar beliefs or religious persuasion – Talk about this before you are married!! Sit down and discuss if religion is important to one or both of you. Is it something you may be open to in the future? Do you have strong beliefs now? It helps if you share core beliefs and if not – that you are willing to support each other’s believes and values.
Don’t yell when fighting– Never yell at the person you love the most in the world. Just don’t do it. And never allow another person to speak rudely, yell or belittle your spouse/fiancé. Stand up for each other. If you have to fight
– then fight naked. I mean it!! Strip down and see how long the fight will last if you are both buck naked.
You can’t change the person you love – only support them once they are ready to change or improve themselves. You fell in love with them, because of all the things they are good at – but also because they aren’t perfect. (None of us are)
Share the parts of your day when you are away from each other – know about your partners stress at work, difficulties with bosses, accomplishments with assignments, projects their working on. Always talk about what you do when you are apart. It helps to make you each feel important. (*if there are issues at work etc, don’t always try and fix the problem or offer opinions. Listening is very important. Asking if they want suggestions with how to deal with issues is also important.)
Continue to date – No matter where you are in your relationship, you want to continue to date, flirt, and woo each other. The little things that show how much we care for each other will never get old.
Surprise the person you love with something they care about – This goes along with dating. Maintaining a strong relationship means continuing to think about your spouse’s/fiancé’s needs. If you are both spending time taking care of the other person…then your own needs will be met.
I hope this helps you in some way – and that you’ll be able to apply at least one or two of the ideas while you’re planning your wedding.
PS – Chris and I have been married since June of 1998 (as of this writing – 15 years). We came from different relationship examples (my parents are divorced, his are still together) – which sometimes we may worry about when we’re getting ready to commit. I know that NO MATTER WHAT, you can always make it work. It is work. It’s not easy and it’s not always fun and laughter. But when you’re totally committed – it’s just the most amazing thing in the whole world. I love waking up every morning next to my best friend. I love the way he looks at me….while I look in the mirror and have no clue why. I love imagining what we’ll look like in 40 more years…as we hold hands and walk down the street together. I’m in it for the long haul…but I guess you are too. I hope you have as memorable a journey as we have.
