Guest Blog Post: Thank you Dan for this fabulous article!
Many of us could agree that when you move in with your partner, it is a very big deal. A move like this creates new joys and new conflicts, all of which are an inevitable part of your development and growth with your partner. There’s no way to avoid conflict altogether when growing in any partnership, but following these tips will help make for an easier transition.
1. Share Household Duties
Who’s going to do the dishes? Mow the lawn? Vacuum? Do the laundry? Dividing up these activities from the onset of moving in together instead of bickering about ‘whose going to do what can make a difference in how smooth your landing will be. Moving by itself is stressful, not to mention, moving in with a new partner. So divide up those chores right away before the stress sets in. You’ll get along much better.
2. Get Clear about Money
Will you be combining your finances or keeping separate accounts? Will you combine your insurance? Who will be paying the bills? Never assume the other is taking care of the finances. Outline the responsibilities and monthly duties. Creating financial goals such as savings goals will strengthen your partnership and help you both stay on track.
3. Create Alone Time
Many couples forego their alone time once they live together, but it’s still important to have personal alone time. Make sure your friendships and family relationships are tended to and not neglected. Maintaining healthy relationships and keeping a balance of how and with whom you spend your time is important to creating a healthy partnership. You’ll appreciate your partner more, too.
4. Go Public, not Private
Some couples fall into the trap of staying home too much. It could be routine, comfort, laziness, or other reasons. Whatever the reason, it’s important to keep the relationship sparking by getting out and participating in the world together. Go out to eat, see live music, take walks together and join with friends. Sharing new life experiences will bring you and your partner closer together.
5. Decorate Together
Decorating together does more than just enhance the beauty of the home. It enhances intimacy by sharing ownership. Décor isn’t the only time you’ll work together in your partnership, for sure. Decorating will help you discover together how well you work together. If you both enjoy working together, you can take on more challenging activities together!
6. Create House Rules
What are the house rules going to be? Creating a list of rules (especially if there are children involved) will help to ensure a smooth running household. For example, “pets do not sleep on the bed” could be considered a house rule. House rules can help you both to steer clear of pet peeves and stay on each other’s good side.
7. Express Appreciation
Every partner needs appreciation. Everyone needs to know they are thought about and cared for, so telling them and showing them with small gestures can make a big difference in your partner’s happiness in your relationship. If you think it or feel it, share it! They want to know, and it will come back to you also.
8. Talk about Merging Your Personal Items
When merging households, it’s a really great idea to talk beforehand about how you will be merging your personal items. Will you have enough space for both partners’ stuff? Whose plates and silverware will you be using? What will you do with any duplicate items? Will you need to rent additional storage space or hold a yard sale? Who will you be using as a professional mover?
About the Author
Dan Meissner is the owner of Cor Moving Company. They are known as “the careful mover,” but they are also movers who care.